MAJOR VENTING ALERT
So I was asked to drive to Colorado with my two close friends to take one of them to school with her car, then get a plane back to baltimore. I've always wanted to drive across the country or just really really far. But, since I have to work (and they don't) I CAN'T go. It's so upsetting to me. It makes me have this resentment towards them that isn't their fault. At the same time, my one friend doesn't realize how much dumb shit she talks about and I listen to but then when I talk to her abuot MY problems which ARE NOT about this guy, that guy, this bar, fake ID's!, and other people, then she doesn't really listen. I KNOW she thinks shes better than me. She said something that really upset me the other day. I was telling her how I might not be able to go to school this semester because of financial aid and I can't afford it...and she was saying how just at least take a class or two and blah blah blah. Then she said you can get loans and then even though teachers to make much, pay the back once youre a teacher. And I know how she is, and since shes a PSYCH major and can have her mommy and daddy pay for her grad school and all that other stuff to make her more successful than me, she did not have to say that. She said youll have just enough to get by. FUCK HER i can't deal with her anymore. Last night while I was sleeping, she texted me saying "Hi I'm at the tavern with people and just saw kelsey" then a few minutes later she said someone else she saw. She never use to go out and wanted to bad to "go out" and go to parties and do this and that, all the stuff thats not her. Then she likes to talk about it and i dont care AT ALL. anyway, I responded by saying "Im sleeping and I dont care who u saw have fun" yeah that sounds bitchy and it is but i REALLY dont like hearing about the pointless shit that makes her think shes so much better than me. I shouldn't have let all this build up then make a bitchy reply but i dont care. she gets on my nerves now and shes suppose to be my best friend. Good to know that she can go out every night and have fun and sleep in during the day and ask for anything. Yeah I get to go to sleep at 12 and wake up at 8 and go to work till 4 then work out and shower and drive my sister around and pay for my car, insurance, everything else. Yeah I have other things she doesnt. I am so much stronger than her, and am able to deal and do things on my own.
MAYBE I'm just jealous.
MAYBE I'm just being stubborn.
MAYBE we're not meant to be friends.
To top that off... I work hard at work and am asked to do a lot of other things other people in my position don't do. Both of my managers at work both have drug problems. Sometimes they're clean sometimes they're not. Right now they are not. They are THE most bitter people ever. I threw a highlight at the wall out of anger and I always do to get some stress out in my office (stupid, I know) and the lady that sits in the same office does the same thing so she was laughing today when I did it. And Rob, one of the managers, busts open our door and was like "IS the day over????? wow looks like you guys are done for the day!!!!!" and I had written up 4 orders today (which is pretty good for a friday) and she was being a total fucking jerk. He knows how hard I work!! It ruined my day.
I am going to the gym now and going to punch a punching bag.